When I was fifteen, I wrote this little excerpt about waves.
//Waves// "For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!" - 2 Corinthians 4:17 this verse reminds me of waves. waves seem mighty, great, and fearful. but once they reach the shore they tire and run out much like our issues in life. it seems like the storm we’re facing is wave after wave after wave, but we forget to realize the beautiful picture God is creating. though our storm seems rough and crashes into us, God looks over everything and sees the whole picture. On the beach, waves are beautiful. they create a wonderfully filled atmosphere that truly shows off God’s masterpiece. and that’s just what God is doing in our life; we just get too caught up in the waves to notice. that glory He creates from our troubles last for an eternity- they become part of our testimony. once we take a leap of faith to overlook the waves, we realize that all He has done is part of His beautiful plan.
I like to compare life to the waves (hence my post called dancing on the waves) because of that little realization I had four years ago. Yet, regardless of how little our troubles are in the big span of life, they feel pretty monumental in the moment. I wrote something in my journal a couple months ago that really made me realize where I was in life. I hadn't hit rock bottom in awhile, and I was convinced I didn't want to go back. After almost an hour long of journaling and sobbing my heart out, I reread what I had written and cried more. It was as if I finally had an accurate representation of where I was in life. A little of that entry I wanted to share:
I know I have people in my corner, yet I can't help but feel I'm on an island surrounded by the many work loads of life piling up around me; how there's no one for miles and miles away. except Jesus. and sometimes we walk around the little island & talk & read scripture, but then I feel guilty for having doubts & my brain telling me I am better off dead. so inherently, I pull out candy crush & social media & waste my time on nothing of worth. and I sit in sadness staring at the many waves I wish I could overcome. everyday I call to Jesus to help me face them, & for Him to guide me, but everyday, there are more waves. they never stop coming. still, I trust Him, because He has a plan for my pain.
As raw and real as that is, it's also sad. I know I am not on an island, and if I am, I have put myself there. I realize the hard part is to get out of that mindset and to put my thoughts into whatever else I can.
I couldn't distract myself; I had to face these thoughts and feelings head on. I started as strong as I could by memorizing Philippians 4:8-9 and putting a requirement on starting my day with uplifting music, instead of pop or a podcast. I decided to eliminate social media from my mornings entirely. Then at the end of the day, once I started my devotion, that was the end of my phone time. The first few days were difficult adjusting, but sitting here months later, my whole life has greatly changed in the short span of time.
My day starts off a lot better, I am more joyful and feel the confidence I once did before in His spirit. Mornings are still rocky of course- they can't be perfect and they never will be. But the amount of change that I have experienced encourages me greatly; I truly feel like I am heading in the right direction. Faith in a few little changes moved some big mountains of discouragement in my life.
Every once in awhile, I am tempted to go to 'the island'. Sometimes thinking about your problems is inherently easier than facing them (OF COURSE!). But, life isn't supposed to be sunshine and rainbows 24/7. Without our trials, we never learn.
I'm not telling you to adjust your lifestyle to mine or to change your morning routine, but I am challenging you to get off the island, and dive into the waves. Whatever it takes to strengthen your mind (a vast weapon) against the enemy's voices needs to be your top priority. Start small and work your way up! Be honest about where you are in life and don't be afraid to ask for accountability.
If you feel like an island, I feel for you so hard...but...realize you put yourself on the island, and it's up to you (with God's strength of course) to get yourself back on track with life.
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